Thoughts From the Boston Metro Area

• Whose bright idea was it to build a one lane ramp at the busiest exit on the biggest interstate in Massachusetts?
• The furniture places here are fiercely competitive, not just for my furniture and housewares patronage, but also my movie-going, walking tour, and freakshow money.
  
• Some guy just pulled up in front of my house and declared that we "all need hats." Specifically Red Sox hats. From his trunk. For $3.50. "Eh? Eh?" ... Just keep walking.
• Ikea has the worst warehouse organization in the universe. The brown table tag points to the white table storage area. The white table is not on display, and the box is not labeled as white, so you have no idea that the brown table you want is actually 2 aisles over in a properly labeled box.
• The realization of this fact is exponentially more frustrating when it occurs at your apartment 40 minutes later and 30 miles away.
• Also, the cutesy Euro sounding names stopped being clever in 1998.
• That was the turn back there.
  
• Why does my kitchen floor have what appears to be a chemical stain with white footprints running through it?
• Is this a turning lane? I think this is a turning lane. Do I actually want to turn here?
• I like the subtle feud between municipalities expressed as passive-aggressive and shoddy civil engineering right at the town borders. No one is going to pave that last 3 inches.
• I'm at a jazz club and I am eating breakfast. Weird.
• Where is the Mass Pike? The sign says left, but the road goes right. Am I reading this map right?
• Kendall Square looks like it was built in the future... of 1982.
• Why are Bostonians proud of the fact that they don't have some of the nice things that you can get in New York? A lack of bagels is not a virtue.
• According to the map, you can't get there from here.