Ghost Shark Communist

I would like to produce a cable news show called Ghost Shark Communist. Every week's episode would feature 3 shocking stories about one the titular topics, but here's the gimmick: you don't know which fearsome terror you're learning about until halfway through the segment. Then, the big reveal with a loud splash page and a scream of GHOST, SHARK, or COMMUNIST!!!

So maybe we start by showing a Caribbean ocean scene, with beaches and sunbathers and innocent, meaty children playing in the surf, but then we pull back and see an old pirate ship run aground nearby. GHOST!

Then we have a story about a dying grandma whose pension is being seized by the progressive socialist government... of Atlantis! SHARK!

Back to the ghost pirates... They've invaded a sugar plantation and started a co-op garden! COMMUNISTS!

We'd get expert commentators and secret documents and all sorts of exclusive content that we made up on the spot, and every week would feature hushed portentious suggestions that these 3 forces were colluding to undermine the United States, or take away your freedoms, or put iodine in name brand cola or something. And we'd encourage you to phone your congressman.

Oh, it would be grand.