Thoughts From the Jury Pool

• The video judge says we're not expected to be lawyers and judges. That's a relief. Giving up a few days of my life is one thing but I don't have time to pass the Bar just to hear about somebody's small claims squabble with the landscaping service.


• Those two jurors look like they know each other. Is there some sort of juror pool scene I'm missing out on?


• My nametag is just a number. So people know I'm an important authorized person, but they don't know my name. I like that.


• That "validate parking" stamp is huge! I feel my parking is extremely justified now.


• They didn't call my name for the first group. I don't know whether to be relieved or upset.


• Why do they only show network daytime on the waiting room TV? I'm all pumped up for some Law and Order reruns on cable.


• There is a stack of air conditioners in the middle of the floor here. Apparently we're also in the maintenance pool.


• The crossword clue says "Thanksgiving side dish", but the only word that fits is "ham." Do some people actually feel the need to eat two whole animals for Thanksgiving?


• Tony Danza has a talk show?


• Some people just came back to the pool because they were excused by the judge. I think they should be able to go home. They just got rejected, have a heart.


• Hey she's cute. I wonder what a good jury pick-up line would be. "Judging you as a peer, I'd give you 10 to life, honey."


• The water cooler is empty. Justice has not been served here today.

Concept lifted unashamedly from the Brunching Shuttlecocks.